oh you have your period? well you have two options.
you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
sounds awful. what's my second option.
a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
still seems pretty awful.
wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
i think i'll go with my third option.
what third option?
i think i'll bleed on everything you love.
Do these sound like basically the same thing as a regular pad? Well, that’s because they kind of are, except cloth pads are environmentally friendly and reusable. It might sound gross at first, but it’s perfectly sanitary and a totally healthy option. Cloth pads are actually cheaper than regular ones, since you don’t have to buy them as frequently, and they’re allergen, chemical and perfume-free. You can choose from a variety of sizes, just like disposable pads.
The only downside to cloth pads is that washing them takes some time, and is kind of icky if you don’t like blood. Also, you’re less likely to find them in stores than disposable pads. But if you’re looking for a way to be good to the Earth, these are a great choice.
The Menstrual Cup
It might sound like an ancient idea, but it really isn’t. A menstrual cup is a disposable or reusable, small bell-like cup that gets inserted into your vagina to catch menstrual flow. It’s worn just like a diaphragm (sitting over the cervix) and it’s flexible.
removing them and inserting them without spilling might take a while to nail down. Also, while reusable ones last for ten years, they’re pretty expensive.